Nooooo idddeaaaaa what's with all the angst lately. I'm not even sure if I want to be at uni anymore.

Somehow this makes my life better though:



Best cushion ever! *Squishes it*

I've been working at a tiny library that's usually quiet anyway based in a primarily Asian area during Eid. 9.30-7. Slowest days ever. -_- I've just been reading and I started flicking through some rather pink looking fiction. I saw this book about a "commitment-phobe" with black hair and a black fringe who has a Psychology degree and is based in the Leeds/Bradford area. O_O I was like, "AH IT'S ME" but then she started sleeping with her male best friend and talking on and on about chocolate and it wasn't me anymore. Phew.

I cannot decide when to go back to uni. I'm currently paying to live in a house I'm not actually in yet, but I have too much to get sorted out before I go back. Was going to move in Sunday but I don't have one free day before then so I will have to pack/tidy in every spare minute I get. Mum can't get Monday off work to take me back so I thought, okay Tuesday! Tuesday is perfect except the next part of Tales of Monkey Island comes out that day and Kirsty might tempt me into playing it with her. Wednesday mum also can't take me back. Thursday is almost a week later than my friendies are moving in. OH NO. :p I was settled on Sunday earlier but my mum is playing the AW BUT WE'RE BFF card. D: I have to go sometime though!

It's new icon time, but I am too lazy to scrounge for more right now.

I've almost now finished Torchwood series one. :D I understand what my friend was saying about it being very hit or miss in the early days, but I've still enjoyed most of it! I was kind of ill a few days ago so lying around watching TV worked for me. Though I felt like a lazy person. I must say that though, the it's-all-about-Gwen thing gets annoying after a while. Not that I dislike her, just is the the only one who can have her life endangered/be the romantic interest of everyone/save the day in every episode? Is she? Okay Jack is kind of like that too but he's allowed. It is an unfair generalisation but, really?!

I do end up singing one of Dr Horrible's Captain Hammer songs most times Jack is on screen though. And my thoughts are occassionally Welsh accented. Weird.

Unrelated, but I think I have a thing for (legal) age gap romances at the moment. I point towards Junjou Terrorist for leading me astray. ♥ England/America counts too. :D

PAYDAY SOON. :) THEN I GET MONEY. AND I WILL HAVE MONEY. IT WILL BE GOOD.

It's only just September and I am wearing my winter pajamas and a hoodie and thick socks and am sitting under my quilt, contemplating filling up my hot water bottle! My bedroom is always bloody freezing. When people are sitting around in their underwear with fans when we get a mini heat wave, I'm perfectly cool. :D Can't believe that's practically it for summer now. I've dug out my winter coat already. It's kind of sad.

I have been watching Eastenders lololol. But but but I'm getting into certain storylines. Kirsty said "is it because you've finally noticed the gay storyline?" I said "well that's just... you know I... why does everyone know me so well?" xD I play Professor Layton through the boring parts. :3

I have watched (500) Days of Summer (loltwice) and really enjoyed it! I can see why it wouldn't appeal to some (TEENAGERS BEHIND ME TELLING EACH OTHER IT WAS SHIT EVERY 3 MINUTES, I'M LOOKING AT YOU) but it was absolutely my type of film. :) It made me want blue eyes! And ohmy, watching with J. dearest. Apparently I shouldn't take him to see a film about a guy who is madly in love with a girl who doesn't want to, er, commit. Hahaha. *Shrug* It was only funny because they used our lines ("why put a label on it? we know how we feel" etc.) Oh, life!

P.S. This time next week I will have watched NEW SUPERNATURAL #1 and played the next part of Tales of Monkey Island, I hope. Yay. :DD

My first overdraft - it makes me sad when I think I have got more money because the numbers have gone up when really I have gone more into debt. :(

I really want to write something because it's summer and I have time to but I don't like much of what I come up with. I even feel like forum posts and journal entries are poorly written. I get too scared to turn on my computer if I post some fiction anonymously. xD

I'm thinking now is the time for me to learn some self-confidence! I planned to do this seven years ago. :D

Hetalia 26 is adorabe! I love evil drunk England. And I'm honestly not in love with him just because I live in England. I am helpless against the tsundere type! Also, omg where can I download his character song. I can't find it outside Youtube. D:

WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE, ARTHUR?

WHY ARE AMERICA/ENGLAND (AND PAIRING VICE VERSA) FANFICS THE HOTTEST THING EVER?

Ha, I told my American friend Shay that I slashed our countries together. :D I am just so excited about them! I have said this before, but the angst is perfect and it's kind of incest without being too, er, incesty which makes it super hot and and I love imagining the different accents when I read fic. :DDDD

Yeah, okay, sorry for abusing the English language. My brain is mush. MUSH.

And I am living in the wrong time zone so sleeping is rather difficult, yet I have been majorly sleep deprived lately.

I'm back from America! I loved it there; apparently I am a novelty in Missouri. Well, my British accent is! And I like totally mastered my Valley Girl accent. I will write up the fun things I did later because that will make me happy, right now I am too tired and cranky to.

I haven't eaten well for the past twenty four hours because Chicago airport food was horrible! My flight got cancelled so I was there eight hours and every bit of food I bought was disgusting. I am vegetarian (I need another rant about being vegetarian in America, how do people manage?) and a generally healthy eater but I am not a fussy eater. When I finally got on my flight (I had to take a flight to London then transfer which added hours onto my journey) they didn't have a vegetarian option for dinner and I slept through breakfast. :( I get bad moody when I don't eat properly. I also slept maybe 2-3 hours in the last 30 or so hours so that explains my joyful mood too. :D

Also, just getting back from America I am extremely skint moneywise. I don't have hardly any library hours. AND I didn't get the helping-out-at-fresher's-week job. This annoys me because the "interview" literally involved saying our name and a little about ourselves but I didn't get it. I don't understand why anyone could have been "better" at something like that, which means they either randomly selected (but why would they?) or they like judged based on a five second impression which really annoys me. Why couldn't they just "interview" the right amount of people? Grr.

Anyway, I was super happy until I started travelling home and I will update with something happy later! I really did have a good trip.

So many people are talking about Torchwood! Jonathan has told me several times that I would probably really enjoy it and so have other people. Jonathan's words were, "you will love the slash. The story's good too." xD I really would like to. I've never seen any of them though. And I like to start things from the beginning. When I am home I will seek it out.

I am going to America tomorrow! :DDDD I am actually a little nervous about flying because I'm alone, but it will be fine! I had no idea what I'm taking with me to stay entertained. Long time travelling. I have five books to chose from. I will probably pick something really exciting then get a headache and/or fall asleep and read nothing. :( I found Supernatural magazine hiding in Borders so I'm thinking of taking that for the pretty pictures. (We haven't watched any lately because Kirsty "isn't in the mood" for it! I was appalled.) I am kind of tired of explaining to adults about my long-time internet friend (a.k.a. "pen pal") and reassuring them I will be safe! I'm really meant to be packing right now since I work in one hour and then Kirsty's coming round and then I'm going to bed and then I'm setting off at 6am. o_o

I find everything far too funny lately. I was working with my mother at the librarar and we were labelling children's books but we run out of the little stickers you put on the side. My mum decided to write on the inside what they were and for a science & machine's catagory she wrote "s/m". We both looked at each other and then decided it was kind of bad a children's book referred to S and M but there was no space after the S, so I told her to write some more after the M. Then it was S/Mach which was just as bad. I could not stop laughing. Really. I have a bad sense of humour.

Noooo, I need to pack. My love for Miyamoto Kano has grown again. The angst and the drama really hurts! But I love it too. Also I'm reading Wild Adapter~. By which I mean I've already read it and I'm thinking about it. This second! I was going to read it on the plane, then I decided I'd worry about reading something with blood/boobs/boys holding hands because I'll probably be next to an annoying five year old or something. I don't know if it's a my-brain-feels-broken thing but I just haven't been finishing books so I'm glad I will be away from manga and have time to catch up. :D

Oh hey yeah, America tomorrow! The end.

Edit: My mum told an old man in the library where I was going and he told me I'm probably meeting a man and I should watch out for plastic food. Ha!

My friend came to say and made the mistake of telling me that she'd recently started getting into anime and manga AND that she thought two guys in Death Note would make a "cute couple". Being the terrible wonderful friend I am, I gave her a very very brief introduction to my world. :D One hour later and she had invaded my top shelf collection and said  that Junjou Romantica "sounded interesting". And, er, then we watched six episodes. (1 Rom, 1 Terro, 4 Ego :D). Now she has borrowed half the manga series. Good times. xD

Today we finally had the choir concert that kept getting postponed and cancelled. It was mostly cheesy gospel songs with added swaying and hand clapping. :D I actually loved it. Though I will be singing "Oh Happy Day" for at least a week. Wonderful.

I wonder why I am such a fan of things that can be described as "cheesy" when I actually do not like edible cheese very much at all. I need a new word. Partially because of the dislike of cheese but also because I don't want to group certain things that I like in with S Club 7 or something. (Enjoy my logic fail!)

Also, I do realise that all of my LJ entries are basically rewrites of things that I have already said. I don't do it on purpose. I basically have:
a) [Fandom] = yay!
b) Bad mood: where is my self-confidence?? Good mood: here is my self analysis.
c) Today I woke and then I went to bed later. It was great.

I really feel like I am the grouchy old lady of this flat sometimes. xD I have to get up early to go the bank and have been trying to get to sleep since 12 but I can't. First a bunch of guys in the room opposite are having a guitar sing-a-long (foot stomping and hand clapping and howling included) so I decided to put my headphones in for half an hour. Then they went out and I cheered and my neighbour put on death metal! Usually I have the girl opposite's loud singing/hairdryer about this time too. At least there hasn't been a gathering in the corridor yet. *Keeps fingers crossed* No wonder I stay up late. :p

Good thing about next year is that I am living in a house with people who are generally quieter and who I would not be scared to ask nicely to be a teeny bit quieter once in a while. I am looking forward to it. ♥

The weather has been so nice lately. Two weeks ago I was wearing my winter coat! xD It makes me happy~

OH! Beautiful silence~ I think I will take advantage of it and leave my laptop on as a back up plan. :3 *Darts off*

 I am trying to get better at the Internet and write as much as I read. Haha, maybe having more than one lj-friend now helps me to bother to post public entries rather than private angst-when-it-suits-me stuffs. srry bb!friendlist.

I really fancy going to a convention now. ): Typical! There are none that are affordable or in a place I fancy staying over alone or whatever at the moment. Boo! I will definitely make more of an effort next time. And go somewhere dedicated to anime rather than general mediaish-stuff. I am dreaming of cosplay, ohoho. Why are most of my favourite characters male? Why do awesome girls wear things that are impossible for a beginniner? Some are also impossible for someone of a medium build who does not like to wear outfits designed for tiny girls!

My Tuesday exam went really well! Friday exam involves lots of statistics and will probably be worse. I'm not even thinking about Linguistics yet.

I have finished the book I was reading (so long) and it was rather well suited for me. ANGST and man-love and pirates. ♥ Now I only own about 10 books that I haven't read. End of exams, I cannot wait for you.

Last thing is that I am getting my...fifth cold since starting uni in October... That is terrible! I will blame frequently changing environments.

I am home. The home where my parents live rather than back at university... Yeah. I kind of decided that I didn't fancy waiting around in London until 11.30pm for a coach that would get me home at 9am-ish, so I made plots involving trains. I phoned my mum and we worked out it was cheaper and faster for me to come home. To be fair, I will probably do a lot more exam preparation here. And Kirsty can come over to watch things with me tomorrow! Although this will ruin all, er, two of my Sunday plans, I am glad to be home.

Expo was good and I did manage to socialise a bit, but I just wasn't in the mood which looking back, is really annoying! I It was mainly the no sleep at all and all of the pushing and shoving and warmth and shrieking of "FREEE HUGGGS" that made me a grumpy old lady. :D I enjoyed admiring the cosplay, at least. I really want to make a costume now. I am too lazy for wigs - time to seek out a character I like who wears easy things and has identical hair to me. xD Merlin panel made my day, probably. Ha. I only got tickets into the expo like a minute before it started! The cast are so cute and I never knew what Colin Morgan's accent was like in real life. Irish! ♥ I have a few more episodes of ttly slashable goodness left to watch of season one~

I wasn't even really in the mood to buy anything which pretty much said everything. :( I ended up buying some cute jewellery at least. And I grabbed some BL manga to entertain me on the train. It was pretty average. Since I was in "normal" clothes and lost the people who I travelled with, I pretty much ended up being a loner! Some guy started talking to me about furries. That was exciting.

Maybe I am not that much of a general convention person? Except I'm sure I would enjoy it more if I travelled there on the TRAIN and had someone I knew well enough to spend a lot of time with. Or someone just to meet up with for a while. Next time I will definitely have a costume! ALSO, I'm thinking something specifically relevant to things I like (Supernatural or yaoi con*, omgyesplzcanihavemoney?) would have be amazing. Not for my bank though.
* err except maybe i'm too much of a reserved fangirl to stay alive there?

OKAY, SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

I FAIL AT REVISION. And I'm so calm. It's worrying.

I am actually looking forward to London Expo now! E-even though I'm not sure what I will actually do there. And it takes forever to get there. And I might be a social failure. And  my bank account might suffer. Merlin panel! :D I reaaaallly hope my new book gets here by tomorrow so I can take it with me...

I am almost a shopaholic lately. See, I was being really careful with my money and then I decided I can always just go into my overdraft since I will be librarying over summer... I have not bought new manga for ageeess and I was thinking that I will try and quit the habit (for a while) but there is an English Junjou volume that I do not own that is tempting me... Of course I don't have Amazon open as we speak!!!

I have done nothing but snack today. At least it has saved me doing any washing up... Liz and I are going to aerobics tomorrow, hahaha.

That's it. Oh, I have Ristorante Paradiso theme song in my head. Thanks LUMAS!

Okay, so here's a problem; I am back into my dreaded unversity sleeping pattern. That is, staying up until morning and sleeping through the day. D: I will do my best to fix this before I have to start getting up early for exams. *Shudder* I have to get up for a Psychology experiment anyway. :( They fund my life! Seriously. For this one you get paid £11 for turning up for three sessions. It's only about an hour of my time overall and yay, money.

Apart from the sleep thing and other minor traumatic experiences (I bit my fingernail too much and it hurts when I type, I burnt my arm on my hair straighteners) I am happy! I booked my flights to go stay with my favourite American friend Shayna in July, finally! I am EXCITED! :DDD I am going when the new Harry Potter film comes out and we are going to see it at midnight apparently. I realise (not including the Shoebox discovery) that I haven't really read/watched anything Harry Potterish for at least a year. People might be cosplaying to see the film (lol) but I don't have anything, boo! I am a cosplay failure.

I am going to sleep very soon. When I wake up I'm going to finally watch the last three episodes of Dollhouse before Kirsty who needs livejournal eats me alive. :D I do like it (well, most of it) but I just keep forgetting!

I am thinking some Junjou Romancing before bed might be nice! (I actually feel like Terrorist, maybe? I can't help but adore their WHOLE ONE EPISODE in season 2 because the Engrish makes me so happy. :D "Get in my house" makes me laugh like a crazy person and I cannot work out why...)

Oh oh and I am so going to watch the Antique Bakery movie tomorrow, because for every serious thing I do (a.k.a. revision) I need to balance it out with 3590833 tons of cheeeeese. :D Also, I finally finally finally started reading The Time Traveler's Wife. It's only been on my shelf for... a year? I just keep seeing/hearing it mentioned everywhere and so I finally started. I am the world's slowest reader so it is going to take me a while, but I am enjoying it a lot so far! I AM GOING TO GET SO MUCH WORK DONE TOMORROW oh wait it's TODAY, OH YEAH!!

I'm not a fan of planning too much out, mainly because I grew up going on day trips with a family member who likes to plan everything to last the second.

However, there is a line.

Saying you will text me in the morning to let me know which train you get on? A little annoying.I have to get up EARLY because you might get the early train.

Texting me when I am just about to set off into town to meet you and saying that you have decided to have a drink with one of your friends and you will meet me later and "let me know". Also a bit annoying.

Person who will never read this, you used to plan everything out all of the time. I kind of feel like I have forced a little bit of spontaneity on you and failed to teach you the rules or something! Bah, it doesn't matter that much. I just like to organise my time, I guess. Hurry up and get here already. D:

On a completely unrelated note, I am now the proud owner of the world's smallest laptop! I won it for filling out a university survey. It was for the department of mental health research. I swear, I thought they were just trying to lure me there with the promise of a laptop and then planning to do something to fix my life some research on my brain. But they weren't. :D

 

( Not like anyone hasn't seen a tiny laptop before... but meh )

*Needs new posters*

Also, omg, I am never drinking again. By which I mean I will probably have a drink later on this evening but it will only be one! For some reason I got very drunk very quickly on Wednesday and I was kind of sick on the bus and maybe on some guy's shoe. o_o I am so embarrassed. This ends my relationship with vodka. *Shudder*

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

[EVENING EDIT: No longer feeling bitchy! Yay~ I blame female hormones~]
 

 

I keep having weird dreams. In one, Alistair from Supernatural was stealing things from my house and shot me when I came home and noticed him. Last night, me and my sister  (and many others) were evacuated from Disneyland to a weird camp where we had to stay in wooden huts and a giant man threw crisps and fire bombs at us and cowboys rode on pigs and then we were hypnotised and I forgot my sisters name. o_o I might give up watching weird things.

I still have barely done any work. My ever distracting goal seems to be searching for the most obscure yaoi I can find. I have folders and folders full of manga, mostly oneshots/one volume stuff that I keep finding and reading. They always end up being cute (in my favourite ridiculous yaoi way) but just too straight-forward. Back in the day, I would have been satisfied with a cutsey highschool romance. Now I want something more... uh... intense? My search will continue! I might have some Junjou Romantica times while I wait. I miss Junjou!

Why do I have nothing to write about that is happening in my actual real life? Life is moving slowly. My bestest Internet friend lives in the most expensive state in the entire US to travel to  (this is an exaggeration but ah, money!) and my flat mate and I keep drinking and watching terrible movies. A girl who I don't really like who asked me if I was emo last term informed me my hair looks like a wig. D: It doesn't! I don't think it does. IT DOESN'T. I will do some exam preparation soon. Definitely.

AND I WILL UPDATE MY LJ LAYOUT AND GET ICONS THAT REFLECT FANDOMS I AM ACTUALLY IN, I WILL!

I remember when I said I would fix up my Livejournal AND THEN I DIDN'T... D: I also said I would de-lurk and do lots of work and tidy up and fix my life lol

I had a goood weekend. :D Somehow, we managed four rides in five hours at Alton Towers so we eventually gave up on the giant queues and spent the rest of our time at the water park. Our hotel was shiny and it was lovely to finally meet my step sister~  Also, Sunday evening I got to join in with Supernatural!drinking which was fuunn, yayy :DD

I have accomplished nothing so far this week. I was honestly going to do some work today but I ended up going to A&E with a friend who thought she had broken her foot. o_o I have also had a headache for the past TWO DAYS which has been a very good reason to hibernate, except I'm kind of sick of it and really want to get some stuff done... I even abandoned my laptop during achey head time! But then I picked up the nearest book and ended up reading about half of Havemercy. Oops.

OOH, there is a very high possibility that I will be visiting my long-time Internet friend in the US in the summertime which makes me very happy. It is rather pricey for plane tickets but I can manage, except I am a little bit scared of flying on my own. B-but it will be worth it so I really hope I have the courage to book my flights soon. xD

I saw a trailer for the new Ace Attorney/Miles Edgeworth game. It looks kind of odd (EUREKA?) but of course I am really looking forward to playing it anyway since Edgey is my favourite frilly angsty almost canon!gay prosecutor, like, ever! I will cry if Phoenix doesn't appear. There will also be weeping if there isn't at least a small reference to their undying love for each other. Maybe I am being too optimistic. *Buys boxes of tissues in advance*

Ugh, my headache has returned. I am going to bed.

I feel inspired~

That is, inspired to fix this up and get icons that aren't from months ago etc. :D I can do that while I wait for my download to finish. I also think because it is revision time I will probably update this more!

I am overwhelmed by Supernatural fandom. D: I-I-I'm not used to really big ones with lots of choice and REAL LIFE ACTORS for me to Google all day. Damn, who knew that fanfiction about actual real people is eight thousand times hotter than usual! Apart from House/Wilson (which I currently avoiding fanfic of until I CATCH UP) I don't really have any major ships from TV and everything is from book/anime/manga so I kind of have to concentrate hard on what imagining what people look and sound like whilst drooling over the hot but NOW it's amazing because I have Dean and Castiel ingraved into my brain. :DDD Though I'm sure their being beautiful adds to the wow. Wow.

I went to the opticians and the receptionist lady told me I look terrified but that's just the default look I have on my face. D: And then it took me bloody forever to find glasses that suited me but at least I managed to avoid getting the female version of my boyfriend's glasses, which I thought I might have to do. xD

Tomorrow I am going to meet my long lost step sister who we haven't been in contact with for 15 years! We are having a family theme park day, Kirsty is coming because I think we've almost adopted her. :D

Holidays have been goood~ I'll skip my actual social achievements. xD I found The Perks of Being a Wallflower hidden on my bookshelf which I think I bought about three years ago from a recommendation but didn't really fancy reading for a while but somehow I really loved it and it was nice and short so I read it twice. ^^

My bestist frend decided it was time I watched Supernatural and I am very glad we did. :DD We did have a system where she told me if something particularly disgusting was going to happen since I am a bit of a wimp (I PARTICULARLY HATE GIANT FANS THAT CHOP PEOPLE UP). It was totally worth it and I was always trying to make my mum watch it too and she FINALLY started watching when we got to season four. Even my mum started asking where Castiel was when he wasn't in the episode. ♥ Anyway, yeah, I haven't been this into a fandom for a while and I MISSED THIS EXCITEMENT, DAMN IT. I have lots of reading fic to do. :D there is something not right about incest!fic even for my mind, thank the heavens for deanxcastiel

Also, I've been watching the Nana anime and I forgot how much I liked the series~~